


flicker

by permutative



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Long-Distance Friendship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Social Media, What Do You Call It When You Meet Your Online Friend For The First Time
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2020-12-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:20:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28203741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/permutative/pseuds/permutative
Summary: bg⁷ ᴇɴ-@kth_and_psh 2hdid sunghoon finally delete snow app 😳 😳 😳 king 😍😍Taehyun had to admit one thing, though—there was something slightly admirable about consistently having the worst takes on the app.not taehyun 🔒@sunghoonism 5mliterally why are the hot ones always dumb 😐 🔫(Or: Taehyun met Beomgyu on Enhypen stan Twitter. It went about as well as you'd might expect)
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun
Comments: 38
Kudos: 125
Collections: WIP OLYMPICS: WINTER 2020/21





	flicker

**Author's Note:**

> > all of the opinions expressed in this fic should not be taken seriously at all whatsoever  
> > i aged taehyun & beomgyu down but this is also set in the future? time is weird  
> > formatting inspired by [the book of us: electricity](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25128892/chapters/60883948) by strayion & [down for your love](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28026972) by pulses  
> > i wouldn't have been able to write this fic without all of k's ideas [i'm so sorry for my lack of creativity] & r's feedback [you're the best beta <3]  
> > in case you aren't familiar with the groups mentioned:
> 
>   * taehyun & beomgyu mention [sunghoon](https://img1.daumcdn.net/thumb/R1280x0/?scode=mtistory2&fname=https://blog.kakaocdn.net/dn/G89iX/btqQDGdyp6L/xq3kxf2TkTgh3iEuTeU24k/img.gif) and [sunoo](https://t1.daumcdn.net/cfile/tistory/99AA00415FDF71BD07?original) (enhypen). their ship name is [sunsun](https://twitter.com/sunghoonspics/status/1340314525023825920)
>   * beomgyu also likes [taehyung/v](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/64/9a/5c/649a5c53fb931ef45fe8a4a0fc8f72d8.gif) (bts)
>   * kai ults [seongmin](http://img1.daumcdn.net/thumb/R1280x0/?scode=mtistory2&fname=https%3A%2F%2Fblog.kakaocdn.net%2Fdn%2Fbm0RpK%2FbtqLpu240SA%2FKNDlKcivGsmE0S0Q2FaXhk%2Fimg.gif) (cravity)
> 


It feels like we’ve wandered every day in search of each other  
And been facing each other across different spaces  
From a far distant place, across countless nights  
—Flicker, Enhypen

Taehyun couldn’t help it. Despite all the advice Kai had told him for meeting up with an internet friend, despite all the reassurances that Beomgyu himself had sent over text, he still felt nervous. He knew he had no good reason to doubt meeting Beomgyu*, but at the same time, Taehyun was skeptical that their online rapport could translate well in real life.

(*He had been convinced that Beomgyu was a real person, not just someone catfishing with an ulzzang’s selfies, when they had FaceTimed each other for the first time a couple months ago)

Regardless, Taehyun had been the one to bring it up. When his parents mentioned he needed to finish up some college visits—specifically in the Northeast, all the way across the country—he had messaged Beomgyu almost immediately with the idea to meet up in person. After nearly nine months of talking to him on a daily basis, Taehyun figured he’d passed the point where Beomgyu was someone he’d have suspicions of outright; Beomgyu was one of the few people who knew him, all the different parts.

Which brought him here: walking to a bakery, the one right off campus of the college he had just finished touring. Taehyun walked faster than normal, both as a symptom of his nerves and because the tour had ended later than he’d expected. Beomgyu lived around an hour away by train from this part of the city, but he had made the trip here just to see Taehyun.

Taehyun pushed the door open to the bakery and stepped inside, scanning around the room for a glimpse of anyone familiar. He’d seen Beomgyu’s selca days on Twitter far too many times for him to not recognize Beomgyu instantly.

It didn’t take long. Taehyun’s heart jolted in his chest when he spotted Beomgyu by the far corner, looking out the window. He watched Beomgyu for a moment, taking in the way he alternated between checking the screen of his phone and biting down on his lower lip while he watched the street outside.

Yep. Definitely Beomgyu. Taehyun walked up to the table and tapped on Beomgyu’s shoulder.

“Hey,” Taehyun said. Beomgyu turned to face him directly, eyes widening in shock.

“Hey.” Beomgyu clasped his hands together. For a moment, Taehyun was horribly afraid that this would turn out to be as awkward as he had feared, before Beomgyu smiled. “How was the college tour?”

Taehyun sat down, his bag thudding to the floor. “Boring as hell, really.”

“Okay,” Beomgyu replied. He fidgeted with his fingers, seeming unsure of what to say.

They stared at each other, silent, for a couple of moments; Beomgyu broke eye contact first. “This is awkward,” he admitted.

Taehyun shrugged. “Well, you’re making it awkward,” he said, teasing. Provoking Beomgyu was usually the best way to get a conversation going.

Beomgyu crossed his arms, smiling despite himself. “No I’m _not_ —”

That was enough to break the tension between them, and before long they were conversing easily in the golden afternoon light of the bakery. As far as first meetings went, not too bad.

—

Taehyun’s first real “meeting” with Beomgyu online had been nowhere near as pleasant.

A bit of context:

Taehyun and Beomgyu both occupied spaces on the internet that could best be categorized as “stan Twitter.” However, their existences were so different that Taehyun sometimes found it hard to believe they were on the same website.

Take Taehyun, for example. He had learned early on that it was important to divide the public and private self while participating in fandom. Over the years, he had gotten better and better at making gifs, and all of that culminated in his Sunghoon—of Enhypen fame*—jpgif account.

(*Not that they’re famous, really, but they’re getting there, which is more that can be said of Taehyun’s other favorite nugu flop boy groups)

On that account he refused to have an opinion. No one knew his name or his age, just had access to his username (@MILK_SUNGHOON) and his admittedly high-quality gifs. Taehyun saved all of his hot takes for his private, locked audience of ten people.

 **not taehyun 🔒** @sunghoonism 2d  
someone save sunoo from the heterosexuality of enhypen PLEASE  
**|**  
**not taehyun 🔒** @sunghoonism 2d  
why do i feel like seongmin and sunoo would be besties

Beomgyu, on the other hand, clearly did not give a fuck about who saw his opinions. And Taehyun, as a result of his frequent searches in the Sunghoon topic on Twitter, had to bear witness to them on a daily basis.

 **bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh 2h  
did sunghoon finally delete snow app 😳 😳 😳 king 😍😍

 **bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh 10m  
if enhypen straight 😕… then why sungsun 😕? 👬

After all, Beomgyu—who went by “bamgyu” on that account—was one of the most popular Sunghoon i-fan accounts. It hadn’t taken long for Taehyun to deduce why, considering that Beomgyu’s selca days were always being retweeted onto his timeline. Like any other kpop stan, Enhypen fans weren’t immune to a pretty face. And Beomgyu, well, he was one of the prettiest.

 **not taehyun 🔒** @sunghoonism 5m  
literally why are the hot ones always dumb 😐 🔫

Taehyun had to admit one thing, though—there was something slightly admirable about consistently having the worst takes on the app.

But for the couple of months before he even interacted with Beomgyu for the first time, Taehyun had found it insanely annoying. He dealt with his mounting frustration towards @kth_and_psh mostly by sending the most questionable tweets to Kai, his closest online friend.

`from: not taehyun 🔒  
if i had to see it then so do you`

> **bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh  
>  UGH I FEEL SO SINGLE 😩😢  
> 

`they’re literally just standing next to each other.  
why is he so unhinged`

`from: kai >3<  
???  
why dont you just mute him? n__n`

Kai always had a good point. As a popular translator—or, at least, as popular as one could get while translating for Cravity*—he had dealt with his fair share of annoying stan accounts. Taehyun’s high-definition gifs, while aesthetically pleasing and somewhat popular, didn’t invite the same type of criticism or commentary.

(*Which is to say, Kai was practically the backbone of the international fandom and didn’t get quite as much recognition as Taehyun thought he deserved)

Maybe it was out of self-hatred—or maybe it was because, well, “bamgyu”’s selca days were kind of cute—but Taehyun never ended up muting @kth_and_psh. And that, in part, was how he first started talking to Beomgyu, after one of the biggest fandom fuckups in his entire 2.5* years of gif-making.

(*He refused to include his time spent running a Shinee tumblr side-blog in middle school in that total. His edits of Taemin were so horrific that he barely even considered them to be gifsets)

—

“How much time do you have?” Beomgyu asked as they walked out of the bakery. His lips were pursed in thought as he looked over the street.

Taehyun shrugged. He was overly aware of how close they stood together, Beomgyu’s fingers occasionally brushing against his own. It seemed accidental, but Taehyun couldn’t say for sure. “My parents said to meet them back at the hotel at eight.” Later that night, he’d be taking a red-eye flight back to the west coast.

Beomgyu sighed at that. “That’s so _soon._ ”

Taehyun couldn’t help but agree. “Yeah, it is.” The minutes were passing by so quickly, and they’d have to go on their separate ways again by the end of the day.

Beomgyu threw his arm over Taehyun’s shoulder. “Guess we’ll have to make the most of our time, hm?” He grinned.

Taehyun swallowed. Beomgyu really was so handsome—much more beautiful than his washed-out Twitter selfies could ever reveal—and the close proximity didn’t help the matter. Regardless, he returned Beomgyu’s smile unabashedly. “Yeah, of course.”

Even if Beomgyu attended university in another part of the city, he still knew this area well, pointing out small landmarks and retelling anecdotes as they went along the street. Their next stop was a bookstore just on the outskirts of the campus, clearly well-loved and crammed with all sorts of books.

“I love coming here,” Beomgyu whispered in his ear as Taehyun surveyed the shelf of sci-fi novels.

“Oh, really?” Taehyun replied, a little surprised. He didn’t consider himself an avid reader—half of the books on his Goodreads were mathematics textbooks—and he assumed that Beomgyu felt the same. Where would Beomgyu have the time to read, in between his busy course load, absolutely _shit_ sleeping schedule, and incessant live tweeting?

“You don’t need to sound so shocked.” Beomgyu rested his chin on top of Taehyun’s shoulder for a moment. The narrow space between the shelves made it necessary for them to stand close together, and Taehyun briefly wondered if _that_ was why Beomgyu had brought them here. “I’m not illiterate.”

“Wow, how surprising.” Taehyun turned to face Beomgyu, then realized his mistake—Beomgyu had unintentionally backed him up against the bookshelf. He swallowed. This was fine, _totally_ fine*. “Why do you like coming here?”

(*Beomgyu seemed to emit body heat, and he smelled really, really good, and Taehyun was pretty sure that if he looked down at his Fitbit it would tell him his heart rate was in _cardio mode._ Maybe he wasn’t fine)

“Mostly just the vibes,” Beomgyu said. He looked a little sheepish as he added, “you’re right. I don’t read that much.”

Taehyun held back the urge to roll his eyes at that answer. “Typical.”

“Whatever.” Beomgyu moved on to another section of the bookstore, the shelves dedicated to recipe books and travelogues. With the newly created distance, Taehyun began to breathe without experiencing heart palpitations once again.

He watched as Beomgyu ran his fingers over the spines slowly, reverently; he’d never known that Beomgyu had such pretty hands. He hadn’t realized that someone could become more beautiful in person, when they were inhabiting the same space as him.

Beomgyu glanced back at him, the corners of his mouth lifted in a teasing smile. “I can feel you staring, you know.”

Taehyun blinked, momentarily flustered. “Well—you look different in person.” As soon as the words came out he knew that he had said it the wrong way.

Beomgyu turned to the books again, back facing Taehyun, so that his face was hidden from view. “It’s the filters, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, probably,” Taehyun replied, honest. He hesitated, then added: “Not like a catfisher or anything, it’s just—you’re a lot more better-looking in person.”

Beomgyu laughed at that, head ducking towards the books. “I can’t believe you’re this _straightforward_ in person,” he said. When he faced Taehyun again, he was smiling. “Come on, let’s check out the used book section.”

As he herded Taehyun over to the discount books, Taehyun thought he heard Beomgyu add, “you’re a lot cuter, too,” but it was so faint that he couldn’t be sure. By the time he felt confident enough to bring it up, the moment had already passed.

Taehyun let it be. Better to live in the present, instead of grasping after what had already passed. They’d have to return to their separate ways by the end of the day, just the same.

—

Taehyun was usually pretty good at the whole compartmentalizing thing, the division of self. He practiced it in real life, when he avoided mentioning kpop to any of the guys on the math team and avoided mentioning math to any of the singers in the concert choir. But, more relevantly, he saved his actual tweeting for his private account and let the Sunghoon gifs speak for themselves.

Despite his quiet public presence, Taehyun Kang, just like basically any other teen on stan Twitter, was not immune to the occasional expression of affection or—more embarrassingly—desire*.

(*He liked to think that he was at least more reserved in his stanning than Kai, who would quote retweet one (1) white-washed Ahn Seongmin selfie about fifteen times within a minute using a wide assortment of different emoticons.)

Okay, okay, Taehyun’ll get to the point: he posted a tweet meant for his locked audience of ten that, instead, reached the thousands of followers he had gained as a respectable jpgif account.

 **milk** @MILK_SUNGHOON  
SUNGHOON IS SO H*T HELP

A couple other extenuating factors made the situation worse, mainly the fact that Taehyun tweeted that into the void at 1 AM, semi-sleep deprived, then went right to sleep. Waking up to a veritable shitstorm seven hours later, he didn’t exactly have that much of an opportunity for damage control.

 **bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh 6h  
it’s getting weird in here… 😬

> **milk** @MILK_SUNGHOON 7h  
>  SUNGHOON IS SO H*T HELP

**bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh 5h  
why is it always the solo stans being creepy 🙄

Needless to say, Taehyun’s mentions were full of confused, unjustified anger at his tweet. It didn’t take long to realize why; “bamgyu” had clearly gotten the impression that he was some significantly older adult who was thirst-tweeting about Park Sunghoon, still a minor in South Korea.

Taehyun understood the reasoning behind it, too. One look at his profile— _account created June 2012_ *—would imply that he was significantly older than Sunghoon, instead of a couple months younger.

(*As for why he had a Twitter account as a nine year old, well. He’ll just blame Yeonjun for being a perpetually bad influence on him.)

As Taehyun did whenever he had a problem on stan Twitter, he sent a message to Kai asking for help.

`from: not taehyun 🔒  
what do i do`

> **bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh 6h  
>  it’s getting weird in here…😬

`he’s got all his cronies after me, it’s insane`

And, as Kai did whenever _he_ had issues of his own, he consulted his friend Soobin. Taehyun didn’t know Soobin that well, but Kai had met him while helping add fansubs for a STAYC vlive. Soobin was one of those girl-group-stanning trolls who took pride in being blocked by half of ARMY Twitter, unafraid to speak his truths—namely, that April, The Boyz, and Bebe Rexha had done more collectively for pop music than BTS. Taehyun didn’t understand his takes, but he respected them nonetheless.

`from: kai >3<  
just talk to him  
soobin says that he isnt unreasonable ^^`

`from: not taehyun 🔒  
what  
how do they know each other…`

`from: kai >3<  
yea lol ^_^  
bamgyu blocked him once when soobin said exos discography was better than bts  
but now theyre friends  
i think they game together sometimes~`

So Taehyun followed Soobin’s advice and messaged him. It was both a surprise and a relief he hadn’t been blocked yet, honestly.

`from: milk  
hey, i’m literally 17  
please delete your tweet  
i don’t deserve the hate`

`from: bg⁷ ᴇɴ-  
how am i supposed to believe that 🙄`

`from: milk  
if i send proof will you believe me`

`from: bg⁷ ᴇɴ-  
mmm`

Taehyun ended up with a photo of his school ID, with everything besides the school year, first name, and face blurred out. He attached a sticky note with his username on it, just for good measure*.

(*He had way too much experience trading for Shinee photocards. Taehyun was used to the skeptics, honestly)

`from: milk  
[attachment]  
believe me now?`

`from: bg⁷ ᴇɴ-  
oh 😳  
oh my goddd i’m so sorry 😰😰  
i’ll delete`

`from: milk  
thanks… `

`from: bg⁷ ᴇɴ-  
btw nice to meet u, taehyun  
i’m beomgyu !!`

Taehyun barely believed it himself at the time, that Beomgyu could switch so easily from sending half of his followers after him to conversing with him casually like this. But after that, they started messaging each other regularly, and the rest, as they say, was history.

—

“It’s still kind of surreal to me,” Beomgyu admitted. They were standing in line at the nearest boba place, the one that Beomgyu had said was the second-best in the area— _not that it’ll be good compared to the ones in the Bay,_ he had added sheepishly, as if Taehyun remotely cared about the quality of what he was drinking while he was spending time with Beomgyu.

“Like,” Beomgyu continued, face tilted up towards the board displaying the various flavors, “we used to talk about our favorite boba orders, and now we’re actually here. Ordering it.”

Taehyun remembered them talking about it once, too. It had been amidst a game of getting-to-know each other where they came up with new questions to ask each other until they fell asleep or ran out of things to talk about.

Sometimes Taehyun felt as if he was filled to the brim with facts that were meaningless to most but ultimately important to him: Beomgyu’s favorite songs to play on the guitar, his insistence that “no one who figure skated for a decade could be completely straight,” the way he laughed over FaceTime, almost biting the back of his hand to contain his smile. Like cramming for a test, everything overflowing and spilling out. All the things he didn’t want to forget.

“Yeah. I think I still remember yours,” Taehyun replied, eyeing the customers in front of them. They seemed to be nearly done placing their order. “Oh—I can pay for both of us.”

“No,” Beomgyu said, firm. “I’m the one who brought you here, if anything I should be the one to—“

Taehyun disregarded Beomgyu’s words and stepped forward quickly, placing the order before Beomgyu could get a word in edgewise.

“Sorry,” Taehyun said once he finished, pocketing his wallet. “But also, not really.”

“I’m paying for dinner, then.” Beomgyu crossed his arms, petulant, once they had stepped to the side to wait for their orders. “You can’t pull that again.”

“It’s kind of funny to see you like this,” Taehyun said. He figured it was a good enough excuse to blatantly stare at Beomgyu’s face again. “Like, is this what you look like when I tell you Sunghoon is straight?”

Beomgyu narrowed his eyes. “Are you trying to piss me off?”

“No,” Taehyun replied, simple. “I’m just being honest.”

Beomgyu didn’t have much to say in response to that. This was usually the point where, online, Beomgyu would change the topic of their conversation to another suiting his whims. He seemed about on the brink of doing exactly that, but just as he opened his mouth, their drinks were ready.

“You’re right, it is pretty crazy,” Taehyun said, watching as Beomgyu jabbed his straw into the top of the lid with practiced ease. “Like, I always knew you were real, but now…”

There was a difference between knowing something was true and feeling it deep within. Like, Taehyun believed in aliens—probabilistically it made no sense for extraterrestrial life to _not_ exist—but that didn’t mean he knew it to be some deep, unshakable truth.

But now, seeing Beomgyu in person, all of the ephemerality of their online relationship, the precariousness of the fact that either of them could easily step away from the screen and disappear without notice, had vanished. Beomgyu was someone he could touch, corporeal, someone who touched _him_ so freely. Someone who laughed brighter in person and lived in high-definition, so bright and lovely.

“Now, what?” Beomgyu prompted. He took a long sip of his drink, and Taehyun watched the boba pearls run up the length of the straw.

Taehyun shrugged. “Now you’re really real.” He paused, then added: “Realer than Park Sunghoon, even.” Then he, too, put his mouth to his straw and slurped with emphasis.

—

Despite befriending Beomgyu, Taehyun didn’t stop complaining about him on the regular. Admittedly, he experienced a new form of annoyance, a combination of being frustrated by Beomgyu’s antics on his timeline and being frustrated with _himself_ for finding Beomgyu attractive despite his terrible opinions. Taehyun hadn’t lost all of his rationality: he knew something was wrong with him once he started finding Beomgyu’s tweets slightly endearing.

`from: not taehyun 🔒  
i can’t believe i think this loser is hot`

> **bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh 22m  
>  hate to say it but… spring day the worst bts title track 😬😬😬

`from: kai >3<  
its ok ^^  
we all have our tastes~ ^3^ `

`from: not taehyun 🔒  
like yours being gg stan trolls ?`

`from: kai >3<  
hey!!! >_<`

But talking to Beomgyu was fun. Despite his adamant refusal to sway from his public opinions, he was a lot more mellow when they messaged each other. It was surprising, Taehyun thought. For people who were so different—united by a mutual appreciation of Park Sunghoon before they breached the superficialities—they got along pretty well most of the time.

 **bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh 1h  
❤ 𝖈𝖗𝖆𝖟𝖞 𝖋𝖔𝖗 𝖒𝖞𝖘𝖊𝖑𝖋... ησ σηє ℓσνєѕ уσυ ℓιкє ι ∂σ ❤  
#ARSD #ARMYSelcaDay  
  
**|**  
**not taehyun 🔒** @sunghoonism 55m  
i hate it here  
  
**|**  
**bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh 54m  
don’t i look handsome?!  
**|**  
**not taehyun 🔒** @sunghoonism 52m  
the caption cancels everything out though  
**|**  
**bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh 47m  
… so you DO think i look good  
**|**  
**bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh 12m  
HELLO??

—

“How’s senior year going?” Beomgyu asked him. The past couple hours had been a dizzying rush of exploring the city around them, from entering a cutesy stationery shop to checking out an overpriced anime store.

They were walking alongside the river, now, on the way to what Beomgyu insisted was one of his favorite restaurants. The sun had already begun to set, and the vivid colors seemed to reflect everywhere: not just on the surface of the river, but also the nearby skyscrapers, and the depths of Beomgyu’s eyes.

“It’s alright, I guess.” Taehyun shrugged. He knew senior year, especially the second half, was supposed to be fun—he remembered how frequently Beomgyu used to tweet due to his senioritis last spring—but so far it had been a blur of writing application essays and dealing with fussy logistics as the math team captain. He didn’t see the appeal quite yet.

Beomgyu looked down at the ground. Taehyun watched as he kicked at a stray pebble, sending it down the sidewalk.

“Are you going to—” Beomgyu stopped himself, pausing for a moment, before continuing with a different question: “Most places you’re applying to are on the west coast, right?”

“Yeah.” It just didn’t make sense, monetarily nor academically, for him to attend a college out of state in most cases. The only schools he’d applied to in the Northeast were the colleges he didn’t have much of a shot at getting into. “I only applied to two schools here.”

It went without saying which ones those were. A pipe dream, maybe, but hadn’t seeing Beomgyu in person also felt like a futile hope at some point? Now Beomgyu was here in front of him. Not someone who could slip away in a click, who could vanish from his life on a whim, but someone who was as real as anything else in his life.

“Well, good luck,” Beomgyu said. “This—it’s been—I mean, it’d be nice if—” he broke off, turning back to face Taehyun. In that moment, his face seemed stranger than it had ever appeared before, almost unfamiliar to Taehyun. “I want to see you again.”

It took Taehyun a moment to realize why—it was panic, dread. The look of someone who knew they were up against the clock, that nothing could be done to stop time.

Taehyun reached out to touch Beomgyu’s shoulder, uneasy. “It’s okay.” After a pause, he added: “Let’s just enjoy the time we have, right?”

Beomgyu nodded. Taehyun brought up the upcoming season of I-Land—this one being meant for a new Belift girl group—and soon their conversation shifted to lighter topics, brighter and easier in the fading light.

—

> 📞 **seongminity** started a call that lasted 2 hours.

“Are you sure you don’t have a crush on him?” Kai asked once, during one of their weekend Discord voice calls. “I know you just complain about how hot he is, but seriously.”

Taehyun was silent for a moment. He had been scrolling through his Sunoo Twitter list while chatting with Kai, and he paused over the one selfie Sunoo had taken with Sunghoon, the oddly endearing caption: _I absolutely will never give up and run, understood?_

He thought about how close he had gotten to Beomgyu over the past couple of months. Despite his timezone being three hours ahead of Taehyun’s, Beomgyu’s sleep schedule was so messed up that they messaged each other late into the night.

A couple weeks ago, Taehyun had his first voice call with Beomgyu, and Beomgyu had shown him what his guitar sounded like through his shitty phone mic. They had already set up a date to video call each other for the first time, in a couple of days. A clear progression leading somewhere, but Taehyun still didn’t know the destination.

“I don’t know,” Taehyun admitted, rubbing the back of his neck. “I guess?”

The more he considered it, the more everything made sense. He had made friends online before, but it had never felt like this—his heart beating fast as Beomgyu replied _so you think I look good?”,_ his eyes straining to read Beomgyu’s messages late at night, minutes collapsing into seconds whenever they talked.

Taehyun didn’t think it was possible to catch feelings for someone online, but in a sense, it was _nice_ this way. Beomgyu existed outside of the sphere of his day to day life, a secret only Taehyun (and Kai) knew about, something he could confine to his chest easily. A vivid part of his day that stood out in contrast to the monotony of his everyday life.

It could never possibly work out with Beomgyu living on the other side of the country. That made things easier, somehow. There was no question of confronting his feelings when he knew the answer would be impossible to reach anyway.

—

Halfway through their dinner, Taehyun looked over at Beomgyu and said what he’d been thinking all along: “You know, this feels like a date.” He hadn’t ever been on a real date before, but he figured all the elements were there: the pretty boy of his dreams, the nervousness of sitting right across from the person he liked, the thrilling happiness and comfortable conversation.

And, well. Perhaps Taehyun should’ve timed it better, should’ve stated the obvious when Beomgyu wasn’t in the middle of taking a bite of his food.

After patting Beomgyu’s back and making sure he didn’t die from food traveling through his airways*, Taehyun raised his eyebrows and repeated himself.

(*”Aren’t you being a little rough, Taehyun?” Beomgyu asked sweetly / “I thought you liked that,” Taehyun replied, straight-faced, to which Beomgyu started coughing again)

“I heard you the first time,” Beomgyu said, rolling his eyes. He was struggling to contain his smile, pink flush rising on his cheeks. Taehyun watched as Beomgyu’s hands fiddled with his chopsticks, nervous. “To be honest, I felt the same way.”

Taehyun reached across the table carefully, placing his right hand on top of Beomgyu’s. “Felt?” he asked. “Past tense?”

“Feel,” Beomgyu corrected. “Present tense.” After a moment, his smile dropped, and he slid his hand out from under Taehyun’s palm.

“But part of me was like, what’s the point?” Beomgyu continued. He glanced down at his phone, double tapping the screen to check the time. “We only have thirty minutes left.”

“Still,” Taehyun protested. “Even if it’s just one day, it’s still important.”

Beomgyu bit down on his lower lip, considering. They remained still and silent, regarding each other for a couple of moments. Even as Taehyun looked into Beomgyu’s eyes, recognized the warring acceptance and defeat there, he could feel the seconds ticking by. “You’re right,” Beomgyu said.

On the walk back to the hotel where Taehyun was staying, Beomgyu grabbed his hand and held onto it tightly the whole way, as if he would never let go. It was starting to get cold; Taehyun couldn’t tell if his goosebumps were from the weather or the thrill of Beomgyu’s fingers intertwined with his.

In the end, their goodbye was about as much as Taehyun could ever ask for: Beomgyu embracing him, palms pressed against his back, chin digging into Taehyun’s shoulder. Warm and solid yet trembling, all the same.

Taehyun closed his eyes, breathed into the crook of Beomgyu’s neck. “I’ll miss you,” he said, muffled. “Today was so nice.”

“It really was,” Beomgyu agreed. His grip tightened for a split second before he let go, stepping away. Even in the darkness, his eyes were luminescent. “I’ll see you around, okay?”

“Alright,” Taehyun replied, knowing that they’d likely never meet again, at least not for a very long time. He turned around and walked the last hundred yards back into the hotel by himself, blinking rapidly as he was surrounded by the bright lights of the hotel lobby.

He didn’t dare look back.

—

While waiting at the airport, Taehyun opened up the Twitter app and began to scroll through his timeline. It didn’t take long for him to find Beomgyu’s most recent tweets.

 **bg⁷ ᴇɴ-** @kth_and_psh  
cannot believe i got to meet up with @MILK_SUNGHOON !! he’s even cuter in person 😳  


Taehyun bit back his smile, aware that his parents would ask him _why are you so happy?_ if he revealed anything past his usual stoicism.

`from: not taehyun 🔒  
you really posted the worst selfies  
why am i not surprised`

`from: bg⁷ ᴇɴ-  
HEY  
anyways 🙄  
have a safe flight !!  
it was rlly nice seeing you today `

`from: not taehyun 🔒  
thanks  
you too`

“Taehyun,” his mother called. “Come on, we have to board the plane now.”

He took one last glance at his phone before putting it away. Within hours he’d return to his normal daily life, his schedule of balancing school and extracurriculars and gif-making, the usual routine of juggling his online and in-person friendships. But at least he had this one day with Beomgyu.

`from: bg⁷ ᴇɴ-  
❤`

`from: not taehyun 🔒  
<3`

And for now, that would have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> every day i'm like "wow i have reached maximum craziness" and every day i prove myself wrong n__n 
> 
> comments are really appreciated! [twitter](https://twitter.com/storyboxed) \+ [cc](http://curiouscat.qa/axiomatic) \+ [more](https://permutative.dreamwidth.org/2602.html) [taegyu](https://listography.com/permutative/notes/taegyu_gifts_%E2%99%A1) [content](https://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&include_work_search%5Brelationship_ids%5D%5B%5D=30172130&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bexcluded_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bcrossover%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_from%5D=&work_search%5Bwords_to%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_from%5D=&work_search%5Bdate_to%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&user_id=permutative)


End file.
